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Portland Mercury
Portland's Most Awesome Weekly Newspaper. Cover...
Portland Pizza Week is NOW
by Mercury Promotions
In our brief blip of existence, humankind has screwed up a bunch of stuff?like the environment, for example, or the concept of a functional and beneficial representative democracy. But despite our belligerent fumbling, we?ve excelled at one thing. One thing we can all agree is good, one thing we only get better at, one thing that keeps us, for now, from being complete failures:
Pizza.
Actually, make that two things, because also: Pizza Week.That?s right: From April 16-21, the Portland Mercury?s Pizza Week is back! Along with our pals at Jim Beam and Tetra Cannabis (why yes, those two things do go well with pizza), the Mercury has teamed up with over 30 of Portland?s favorite restaurants to offer special, one-of-a-kind pizza slices all over town? and each slice is only $2 each! View the map of locations all around Portland.
Is Pizza Week the apex of human accomplishment? Yes. Are there some things you need to know before it starts? Also yes!
? Everyone loves Pizza Week. As well they should. But that means some Pizza Week spots will have lines, and others might even run out. In these trying times, take a deep breath, stay calm, and hit another Pizza Week location, or go back the next day when things are more chill. Either way, you?re getting pizza out of it, so it?s a win-win.
? Don?t forget to tip. (Even you, Apple Watch guy who won?t shut up about our ?post-cash society,? and even you, Bitcoin guy who tries to buy everything with made-up money. IT IS NOT REAL MONEY, BITCOIN GUY.) An event as big and popular as Pizza Week takes a lot of work, and much of it is done behind the scenes?so tip well, and show your appreciation to the hard-working chefs, waitstaff, and feral monkeys we have perhaps unwisely equipped with razor-sharp pizza cutters.
? Order sides and drinks. Food scientists recommend that pizza only make up 95 percent of the average adult?s diet. Luckily, Pizza Week locations will also be serving all kinds of great sides and drinks. See? It?s easy to be healthy!
? At portlandpizzaweek.com, you?ll find even more details about Pizza Week?including an interactive map of all Pizza Week locations and live updates! And you can post and see even more about Pizza Week using #portlandpizzaweek on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE SPECIALTY $2 SLICES YOU CAN GET FROM APRIL 16-21!
RSVP to the Facebook event for updates!
Click here for Portland's most comprehensive Food & Drink Calendar.
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Thorns Win Home Opener 2-1
by Erin O'Regan
Lindsey Horan will tell you- there really is no place like home. The Portland Thorns DEFEATED the Orlando Pride 2-1 in their first home match of the 2018 season. HOT TAMALES AND FAST KARATE!
Finally, finally FINALLY, the Thorns had their first home match. This was the Thorns third game of the 2018 season and their second win. Now I?d enjoy watching the Thorns play just about anywhere, but nothing beats getting a big fat WIN in your own house. And even though gameday showed up with a LADLE BRIMMING WITH WINTRY RAIN?WINNING WAS DELICIOUS.
MIXED FEELINGSThe Thorns and the Pride have played five times in the past and the Thorns have gone undefeated in their matchups with three wins and one draw. Does this mean I was confident? NO, HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT. Does this mean I was doubtful?YOU DON?T KNOW ME! BACK OFF!
Sure, Orlando has the ever tenacious Sydney Leroux and former Thorn and USWNT favorite and Alex Morgan. And YES, Morgan recently scored a CABOODLE of goals for the US Women?s National Team and seems to be on some sort of GOAL SCORING ECSTASY JOYRIDE. Why would I worry that this game would be any different than the last five matchups? Because I?ve watched Thorns FC Coach Mark Parsons and the rest of the Thorns FC staff pull together a diversely talented group of women who push and pull differently depending on who's on the field. What can I say? I trust their creative and professional instincts! ESPECIALLY SINCE WE WON! Someone took their top off on Sunday - to unveil a fantastic reminder that Thorns FC are the 2017 Champions, Image courtesy of Portland Thorns FC
WATERLOGGED AND WINNINGThe first half was well played and hard fought by both teams. The Thorns defense seemed off for the first 45 minutes, but managed to stave off some first-rate attempts by the Pride. HOW ABOUT Y'ALL MAKE LIKE THE MAIN CHARACTER IN JORDAN PEELE?S HIT MOVIE AND GET OUT (of the scoring area).
It wasn?t until the 20th minute that Thorn FC defender Emily Sonnett tried to get a free kick off a little too quickly and the rest of the Thorn backfield was not quite ready. It was swiftly served QUICK AND SLICK to Orlando?s Ubogagu and she delivered it into the net for a Pride goal. NUT BUCKETS!
It?s a good thing your Thorns do NOT take bad news lightly. Shortly after the Pride goal, Lindsey Horan scored some SLOW MOTION MAGIC on the far post after a patient and delicate assist from Thorns captain Christine Sinclair. SHE DON?T SCORE GOALS... SHE MAKES MONEY MOVES!
Y?all: Horan had not one, not two, BUT three Orlando players on her and she hit it with her left foot... into the goal... past the renowned goalkeeper, Ashlyn Harris! I can?t brush my teeth with my left hand without giving myself a black eye. LI-HO GOT THAT G-LOW!!!Group hugs, perfect for any celebration! GET ONE TODAY! Image courtesy of Portland Thorns FCThe second goal was ANOTHER result of relentless determination and HOT BUTTERY TEAMWORK! Lindsey Horan served up a masterful cross to Sinclair in the 38th minute. And the CANADIAN SENSATION made a goal DONATION without any HESITATION or FLIRTATION. SHE DONE DID IT AGAIN.Not only did Sinc do it again, but she?s now done it (score goals) more than any other for the club. A whopping 75 goals for Thorns FC will win you a little respect. GET TO WORK, ARETHA FRANKLIN!What would we be without this woman? Clearly Canadian Christine Sinclair. Image courtesy of Portland Thorns FC
WRAP IT UP, ALREADYAll in all it was a great game back home?and by ?great? I mean ?THRILLING AND FREEZING.? I honestly didn?t notice Alex Morgan in the game, but constantly felt Leroux and Ubogagu were NAGGING threats. The Thorns showed up big when it came to crosses in the box and Lindsey Horan continues to amaze me. DAVID COPPERFIELD STATUS. Her footwork is so freaky nimble! She?s able to slow the game down in just two beats. She?s by far, IN MY OPINION, the Thorns most sure asset. Pregame shot with tifo in the background! WHAT A DAY! Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC
I can only hope that this year will be as satisfying as 2017. The Thorns still have a handful of playmakers that have not made it here and judging from the performances we saw today, the Thorns have more winning to do!
Be sure to catch the next Thorns FC match on Friday April 20 at 7:30pm Tickets here!And please catch up with me on Twitter at @erinjeanius
GO THORNS!A perfect Sunday. Wet, Wild and Winning. Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC
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Portland's Most Awesome Weekly Newspaper. Cover...
The GreenLoop - Greenloop has fab eco-friendly clothing and accessories for men and women, as well as vegan footwear! Portland-based.
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